The Christmas Play
by Top Secret Magician
Summary: Hisoka gathered Gon's crew, Illumi, and the Spiders (minus Ubogin, Pakunoda, and Kalluto) for an important rehearsal! An important rehearsal for what? A Christmas Play, of course! But, oh god... Who's idea was it to place Hisoka as the director! Oh. Right. It was none other than the magician, himself... [Not centered around KuroKura, but it shows, definitely] - ONESHOT


**The Christmas Play**

**Author's Note:**

**Just a stupid idea I got that ended up getting screwed. Seriously crappy. Sorry.**

**Notice:**

**Extremely poor quality. To the point I think I don't deserve reviews…**

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own Hunter x Hunter. Now only if I didn't own **_**this**_** story… This is the worst thing I've ever written, really. *grimace***

"A Christmas Play?" Killua repeated in a rather hollow voice.

"A Christmas Play." Hisoka nodded.

"A Christmas Play?" Gon asked once again, with curiosity.

"A Christmas Play." Hisoka grinned.

"A Christmas Play?" Leorio came into the room and said the words he had overheard. He shut the door.

"A Christmas Play." Hisoka raised his eyebrow.

How many times had the words been said?

"I don't know why you called us here, Hisoka." Kurapika entered the room shortly after Leorio, as he too, closed the door.

"Kurapika! We're having a Christmas Play!" Gon exclaimed excitedly.

"A Christmas Play?" Kurapika questioned with a small frown of confusion.

Hisoka sighed.

He was getting quite tired of saying this.

"A Christmas Play."

But before Kurapika could ask why, the door opened once again, and Kurapika immediately hissed - his eyes blazing scarlet.

"Did I just hear somebody say 'a Christmas Play'?" Kuroro commented casually as he walked through the door with his followers.

"Spiders!" Kurapika was glaring at every one of them, his fist clenched. His right hand was particularly twitching as if he wanted to throw out his chains.

"Now, now, Kurapika." Hisoka half-smiled. "Dancho's promised to be nice-"

Kuroro raised an eyebrow, but Hisoka payed no heed.

"-so you should, too." Hisoka smirked. "How about a short truce, just for this play! It's Christmas, and I'm sure you wouldn't want your friends to be involved."

Kurapika glanced at his three friends at that.

Gon was looking at him worriedly, Killua was on his guard, and Leorio was eying the newcomers with great nervousness.

Gon and Killua, no matter how skilled they were, were still kids. And Leorio didn't know Nen.

Sighing, Kurapika slumped his shoulders unwillingly.

"Just for today." He muttered.

"And tomorrow." Hisoka reminded him - today was their rehearsal for tomorrow's Christmas Play.

Kurapika tightened his jaws.

"Fine."

Kuroro chuckled a bit.

"So, we're having a Christmas Play?"

"A Christmas Play." Hisoka answered wearily.

"Ho-o." Illumi entered the room and glanced at the others, his eyes finally zeroing on Killua, while he let out an amused sound. Still with his emotionless facade, of course. "A Christmas Play?" He cocked his head and finally tore his eyes off his brother to look at Hisoka.

"Yes." His friend sighed again as he rubbed his temple. He must have said this about six times already – seven if you counted the first time he had announced it to Gon and Killua. "A Christmas Play."

"Why?" Killua scowled at the clown.

Hisoka only grinned.

"It'd be fun, and its Christmas tomorrow~"  
"That doesn't have anything to do with why we're here, idiot." Machi said cooly, shooting Hisoka a look of disdain.

Hisoka chuckled.

"So! I've got all the roles planned out!"

"Hold on-" Leorio frowned.

"You-" Machi gritted out, now glaring at the clown.

"We never said we were agreeing to thi-" Killua blurted out angrily, but he was cut off by Gon.

"Cool!" He turned to beam at everyone. "It'll be so much fun! I'm so happy we can spend Christmas all together!"

Everyone blinked at the boy's cheeriness.

"And them?" Kurapika muttered darkly, referring to the Phantom Troupe.

"Aw, Kurapika, don't be like that!" Gon pouted. "The more, the merrier, right?"

Kurapika blinked at the boy before letting out a sheepish chuckle.

"You're quite right, Gon. I apologize for my short-sightedness."

"No worries!" Gon grinned. And after checking to see if Kuroro and his Spiders, Illumi, or his other two friends had any problems (none, since nobody could say 'no' to Gon's puppy eyes and innocent thinking), he turned to face Hisoka. "So what are our roles, Hisoka?"

Hisoka grinned slyly.

"Well, Gon, you'll be Santa's elf."

"'Santa's elf'?" Gon blinked.

"He's a sort of funny creature with pointy ears and green clothes." Killua added, and Gon's confused look changed into a beam.

"Cool!"

"Killua, you'll be Santa Claus." Hisoka informed him.

"Wh-what!?" Killua spluttered. "Why!?"

Hisoka glanced pointedly at the boy's silver white hair.

"Che." Killua stuffed his hands into his pant pockets. "Fine."

"Leorio, you'll be Rudolph." Hisoka continued.

"What!?" The man spluttered while Killua snickered.

"And Kurapika, you'll be the damsel in distress." Hisoka continued as if nothing was wrong.

_"What!?"_ Kurapika said, if possible, in an even louder voice than Leorio. He looked absolutely aghast and offended. "Why do you need a 'damsel in distress' in a Christmas Play? And why am I the damsel?!"

"'Cuz you look like a girl?" Leorio raised an eyebrow as he fought a laugh.

However, Kurapika's glare shut him up immediately.

"Because that's what the play's about!" Hisoka spoke dramatically. "Santa's reindeers are all stolen by Santa's enemy, all except Rudolph, who later leads Santa, the Damsel, and the Elf to the other reindeers. But before that, since Santa had no reindeers, he hadn't been able to hand out presents, and the good Damsel was distressed by this. Santa's enemy saw what a pretty damsel she was - especially when she was in misery – and so he decided to kidnap her and force her to become his bride. Of course it was the Elf who found this out and Santa's crew flew off towards Santa's enemy – he lives in the South Pole – and where the other reindeers plus the Damsel were being kept. However, the other reindeers were much more loyal to their new master, Santa's enemy, and the Damsel had fallen in love with Santa's enemy and eventually married him. But Santa's crew was not to be depressed! They found a funny magician who helped give children presents by his magic. Finally, they flew up to the North Pole, along with their now-friend magician, and a very nice Christmas Tree they found along the way." Hisoka sighed dreamily.

The others exchanged looks that said: 'HE'S MENTAL'.

"Ah, which reminds me." Hisoka smiled at Kuroro. "You're Santa's enemy, Dancho."

Kuroro's eyebrows shot upwards while Kurapika choked on air.

"What!?" He glared at Hisoka.

"Who is this 'Santa's enemy', though, may I ask?" Kuroro was the one to ask.

"The Cookie Monster." Hisoka nodded.

Kuroro paused, and turned to stare at Hisoka.

Everybody paused and turned to stare at Hisoka.

"...Excuse me?" Kuroro was sure he had heard wrong.

"The Cookie Monster." Hisoka repeated. "He eats Santa's cookies."

Everybody 'ohh'-ed in understanding.

Only Killua was sane enough to think this was a bizarre reason.

He glanced at the others, and smacked his forehead when he saw that even Kurapika was nodding, muttering 'I see...' under his breath.

And to think he was the one who belonged to a family of crazy assassins.

"But what are the rest of the Spiders?" Gon asked curiously. He meant no harm, really, with his innocence.

"They're the stolen reindeers." Hisoka replied. "I don't care who's which - as long as Feitan's Dasher."

He chortled at his own joke while most rolled their eyes. Only Gon kindly laughed with him.

"And what's Aniki?" Killua jerked his head towards Illumi.

"The Christmas Tree." Hisoka said simply.

Everyone stared at him, and then at Illumi who only blinked as if he didn't care. In fact, he probably didn't.

"And you?" Leorio shot Hisoka a suspicious look.

"I, of course, will be the Magician." Hisoka smirked.

"Why the hell is there a 'magician' in a Christmas Play..." Killua muttered.

Hisoka snapped at him,

"Because I am the director, Killua, so why don't you close that mouth of yours now?"

_'He's the director?!'_ Everyone mentally sweat-dropped, even Kurapika and Kuroro, when they had known all along.

Killua shuddered at the sickly-sweet said threat, and silently obeyed.

"Good!" Hisoka beamed. "Why don't we get our rehearsal started now, then?"

"Only a director as crazy as Hisoka would be capable of making such a crazy plot." Leorio muttered to his three friends, who all nodded grimly. "Trust Hisoka to come up with something so psycho, really."

**xXx**

Illumi silently sighed as he observed the scene before him.

"Step a bit closer to him, Pika-chan dear~"

"Don't call me 'Pika-chan', Hisoka!"

"Fine, Kurapika then." Hisoka sighed. "You're all so very boring, you know."

"I don't care." The blonde hissed.

He was in a terribly bad mood.

And that was because, well, it was because he was in a dress - cross dressing as the damsel.

Besides that, he was also forced to stand closely next to his most hated enemy; Kuroro Lucifer.

What's more, he had to act as his lover.

Now, Illumi knew his friend was off his bonkers, but seriously.

This was getting a little too over the top.

But then again...

It was Hisoka.

And this was very Hisoka-like.

"Just a tiny bit closer..." Hisoka said.

Irritably, Kurapika took another step towards Kuroro.

"That's the ticket!" Hisoka beamed. "Alright then. And the damsel says?"

"I..I love you, Cookie Monster." Kurapika muttered, blushing as she faced Kuroro.

"You have to be louder, Kurapika~" Hisoka sang.

"I LOVE YOU, COOKIE MONSTER!" Kurapika all but yelled.

"Now, that sounded like you were angry at him." Hisoka blinked.

"Urgh!" Kurapika threw his bouquet of flowers to the ground, and Kuroro chuckled.

Hisoka sighed.

This is going to take longer than I expected..."

**xXx**

"How's Santa's crew doing?" Hisoka piped in.

"Uhh..." Gon the Elf drawled. He glanced at Killua and Leorio.

"You're supposed to tell me where the reindeers are, old man!"

"I will if you stop kicking me from the sleigh, brat!"

"Fine...?" Gon turned back at Hisoka, giving him a rather forced smile.

Hisoka sighed.

"This really _is_ going to take a longer than I expected."

**xXx**

"And...done!" Hisoka announced. "Rehearsal's finished!"

"Finally!" Leorio muttered with an exhausted sigh. He slumped to the ground.

Even Kurapika flopped against the chair, looking as if he had died - or was about to, anyway.

"Tomorrow we have the real play so take a good rest tonight, alright?" Hisoka chuckled with his hands on his hips. "Make sure to gather here at seven in the morning tomorrow~"

Grumbling, everyone left the room.

Illumi was the first to leave, being closest to the door, and then the Spiders trotted out.

"Bye Hisoka!" Gon waved at the clown.

Said-clown blinked.

"Good bye Gon." He smiled slyly. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Che." Killua mumbled as he followed Gon out. "Later, clown."

Hisoka chuckled.

"You too, Killua."

Kurapika gave Hisoka a short nod as he, too walk out - in which the man replied with a wave - while Leorio scurried off without a word.

"I don't know why you bother saying good bye to him, really." He muttered to his friends. "He's so creepy!"

Hisoka smiled widely.

"Tomorrow will be such a fun day." He sighed happily.

He started humming as he turned the lights off to leave as well.

**xXx**

The crowd applauded as the curtains opened, and the stage revealed Killua in his Santa suit.

"Santa! Mr. Claus, sir!" Suddenly, Gon in his green elf disguise came running onstage.

"What is it, Noel?" Killua spoke in a lazy voice.

"It's Rudolph, sir!" Gon let out a squeaky voice. "He's been telling me the most shocking-"

"Rudolph!" Killua turned to look at Leorio in his large reindeer costume – with a red glowing bulb on his nose – running towards the two on all fours.

"He's been telling me that all the reindeers - they've disappeared and-"

"Disappeared?" Killua sharply cut in through Gon's words. "What do you mean 'disappeared'?"

"Stolen, sir!" Gon was close to tears. "All except Rudolph, who managed to escape!"

"How did that brute manage to escape?" Killua wrinkled his nose. "Dasher, maybe, but that old brute? Never in my dreams."

"Hey!" Leorio the reindeer shouted, only to be clumped shut by Gon.

"Anyways, sir, I've checked the shed, and he was right! The reindeers have disappeared!"

Killua stood up from his chair, setting his ink pen down. "But how will I give presents? How will the humans receive their coals? I mean, toys, as well, of course. How will I drink my milks? HOW WILL I EAT MY COOKIES?!"

"Wow, you're really hyped up for your cookies..." Leorio muttered to himself.

"Shut up, reindeer!" Killua hissed. "Stay like the mute reindeer you are!" He then faced Gon again, and said as calmly as possible, "I need, my cookies, Noel. I..need...my...COOKIES!"

"A-alright!" Gon sweat dropped. "Luckily, Rudolph knows who stole the reindeers, sir!"

"WHO?!" Killua all but shouted at Leorio.

"Geez, and you said I couldn't talk..." Leorio muttered. Catching Killua's frenzy glare, he said –with a lack of enthusiasm –, "Er, I mean... Neighhh."

"That's a horse, moron." Killua rolled his eyes. "Noel?"

Gon hurriedly replied,

"Well, sir, Rudolph here told me that the one who stole your reindeers is..." Gon took a deep breath. "C.M."

Killua frowned.

"C.M.?" Then his eyes widened. "Not-"

"But it is, sir. It's him! C.M. as in..." Gon did a dramatic gulp. "The Cookie Monster."

Deafening silence.

"WHAT?!" Killua shouted, his face almost purple with rage. Hurriedly pulling on his coat, he whirled around to face Leorio nose-to-nose, making Leorio squeak something like 'please don't eat me'. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME, YOU SHRIVELED RED NOSE!" Spit flying everywhere, Killua stamped his foot - making him seem more like a tyrant than the old man he was supposed to be. "COOKIE MONSTER! Oh, I know HIM. I should have known he'd..." He trailed off, too angry to even finish his words. "NOEL! If you hear any news of that damn Cookie Monster again, tell me at once! Understood?! TELL ME TELL ME TELL ME!"

"Ye-yes, sir!" Gon saluted with a sheepish smile. "Of course I will."

"Hmph." Killua was now struggling with his boots. "So if the bastard Cookie Monster is the culprit, we'll find him in the South Pole."

Because Santa Claus lived in the North Pole, of course.

"Rudolph, get ready." Killua snapped at the reindeer.

When Leorio gave him a confused look, he rolled his eyes.

"You'll have to take me and Noel to the South Pole, won't you?" Killua and Gon shared grins. "We're going to retrieve what rightfully belongs to us."

Poor Leorio could only gape at them in his silly reindeer suit.

And the curtains went down.

**xXx**

"The reindeers at North Pole were much too unguarded, just as I had expected."

The curtains had opened again, revealing a new scene.

The setting was much like Santa's workshop, except that instead of red, green, and white, everything was yellow, blue, and black.

In the middle of the room, there sat Kuroro Lucifer, in his bright blue Cookie Monster costume.

And at the left of the stage, was an odd pine tree. What was odd about the tree was that it had a pale face with long black hair sticking out, and that emotionless eyes were staring blankly into the air.

Yes, that's right!

It was Illumi in his Christmas tree costume.

"Claus would have never expected someone would dare steal his reindeers." Kuroro smirked. "And, here, I gave stolen them right under his nose." He glanced at the reindeers. "One, two… Five, six... Nine, is it?" Kuroro frowned. "I thought it was Ten... Ah." He nodded to himself as his face cleared. "Rudolph."

"He's an idiot, don't worry." Nobugana snorted from his reindeer suit.

Kuroro raised an eyebrow.

"Cupid, isn't it?"

Nobugana, remembering he was supposed to be a reindeer, nodded silently. Emphasis on 'silently'.

But he had a hard time controlling his anger when Feitan – Dasher – snickered. Though Feitan's snickers died when he suddenly remembered he was wearing a stupid_ reindeer_ costume, and grimaced instead.

"Prancer, will you stop prancing about?" Kuroro turned to look at Shalnark, who looked pleased.

He made an animal noise that sounded like 'sorry'. But then he whispered to Shizuku – Donner –,

"That Santa Claus kid – uh, I mean gramps – was kind of terrible, to say the truth. I'm glad we've got a new leader."

"Yes, and I guess it's good that Rudolph's out, too." Shizuku whispered back. Then she paused. "He _did_ fall out of the group, didn't he? I don't remember."

Shalnark sighed.

"And Blitzen, what are you doing?" Kuroro raised an eyebrow at Phinks, who was snickering over Bonolenov.

"Er, nothing, Dancho." But Phinks gave a leer at the mummified reindeer. "Just wondered what _Dancer _did to earn his name; dance?"

Feitan, the ever-sadist, snickered along.

Bonolenov, looking extremely offended, sniffed at them indignantly.

"Comet, please calm those two down." Kuroro rubbed his temples.

Frankling nodded, his long earlobes swaying.

Which is why he took the role as Comet; he had long earlobes.

"How childish." Machi scoffed with an uncaring face.

"Yeah, well, your name suits you well, Vixen." Phinks snickered again. "Ill-tempered woman, see?"

Machi glared at him.

Coltopi – Olive, the new reindeer – stood still, quietly observing his fellow reindeers.

"All of you, silence." Kuroro ordered sternly. Though it looked rather cute in his costume.

When they had quieted down, he mused,

"So I've got the reindeers, and now I can steal the cookies meant for Claus." He turned to look at the reindeers. "Why don't we go do some stealing?"

The reindeers all approved.

They just loved their new boss.

And the curtains fell down, but just before it did, the queer tree, blinked.

**xXx**

With the curtains still down, Killua, Gon, and Leorio came running in front of them.

Killua and Gon were riding Leorio, for Kuroro had stolen the sleigh as well.

"We haven't got much time left!" Gon cried.

"Hurry!" Killua urged, hitting Leorio on the head.

Fighting an angry yell, Leorio gritted his teeth.

"Neigh." He called sarcastically.

**xXx**

The curtains opened, and the scene had changed once again.

It was snowing, and a light at the right side of the stage showed what looked a Kurapika, wearing an old dress, acting as a poor blonde damsel.

Kurapika stood, rubbing his arms and pretending he was cold.

The light faded, and a new light came from the left side of the stage, showing Kuroro alone.

"Where can I go find cookies?" He mused. "Maybe over there…?" He glanced to the right side of the stage, and the light flickered on again to reveal Kurapika. Kuroro frowned ever-so-slightly, awed by the beauty of the damsel.

"...It's snowing." Kurapika murmured as he put his hand up, palm upwards. He was oblivious to the presence of Kuroro.

When a snowflake fell into his hand, he smiled softly.

Kuroro, who had been observing this, gazed at the boy, and lightly blushed.

"This feeling… It's warming my heart." Kuroro blinked at the strange sensation. "Why, it's even warmer than Claus's cookies!" He turned to look at Kurapika again. "Is this...love? The impossible emotion. Love. …Who knew it'd be so warm? Warmer than cookies…" His face set into a determined look, and he whispered to himself, "I will take the damsel. She makes me warmer than cookies. The cookies will not be necessary if only I have her." He cleared his throat, and called out to the damsel, "My dear damsel, May I have a cookie, please?"

Kurapika blinked at the odd blue Cookie Monster. Then his face turned sorrow and apologetic.

"I am so sorry, sir, but I am a poor damsel, and I do not even have cookies made."

"No cookies? None at all?" Kuroro was greatly surprised, and soon felt sympathetic. "Then I will take you; you will be mine."

"Ex-xcuse me?" Kurapika stuttered, but he suddenly blanked out.

Before he hit the ground though, Kuroro caught him.

"I will claim you as my wife, my pretty damsel." He decided in a soft voice. Carrying Kurapika, bridal style, he called out, "Prancer? Get the sleigh ready; we will head back to the South Pole."

The curtains, once again, went down.

**xXx**

The curtains opened, and the setting was the South Pole again.

"This is it." Leorio said. "This is the Cookie Monster's Workshop – though what he works for is a mystery."

"Quiet, reindeer." Killua ordered, annoying the man. He then wrinkled his nose. "Ew, what terrible taste of color the bastard has."

"I apologize for the terrible coloring, Claus."

The three whirled around, and Gon gasped.

"Though I would say the same to you." Kuroro smirked. In his arms, was the unconscious Kurapika, and the three were quick to notice.

"Who's the girl?" Leorio yelped.

"What have you done to her?" Killua narrowed his eyes.

"Is she okay?" Gon cried worriedly.

"Of course. She's fine than ever." Kuroro answered Gon first.

'_After all,' _He thought. _'She's going to be my bride.' _He turned to Killua.

"As for your question, I have done absolutely nothing wrong to her." Kuroro smiled. "And apparently, she's a damsel in distress I found, reindeer."

Leorio huffed.

"What do you plan to do with me?"

Everybody startled, for it was Kurapika who asked the question.

He was glaring at Kuroro, his eyes blazing red.

Kuroro stared in amazement, before answering,

"I plan on marrying you."

Killua choked on his own spit, Gon accidently let out an odd squeak, and Leorio stared, flabbergasted.

Even the other reindeers seemed shocked.

"_What?"_ Kurapika frowned, his eyes flaming brighter. "I do not want to marry you! I refuse to be your wife! You..you're a…m..mon…" But he hesitated, unable to say the word he loathed so much.

"I'm a monster." Kuroro calmly ended the sentence for him, startling Kurapika with guilt. "But I am the Cookie Monster. I do not plan on killing, damsel. Well, except for cookies, maybe." He joked.

Kurapika almost smiled.

"But you do not have to say the word again. You may call me Kuro. I will never let you say the word again." Kuroro said softly, his face serious again. "The word 'monster' – I sense you hate it."

Kurapika flinched.

"People…people have called me the word many times for having these..these cursed red eyes…" Kurapika bit his lips. "Does..doesn't it bother you?"

"On contrary, I personally think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in the world." Kuroro said truthfully. "And that is saying a lot."

Kurapika blushed, looking surprised.

"And you are, too." Kuroro smiled. "Not only your eyes, not only your face, but your heart; _you."_

Kurapika looked close to tears. He buried himself into Kuroro's torso.

"Say, what is your name, fair damsel?"

Kurapika looked startled, as if this was a question he did not often receive.

"I… My name is Kurapi, but nobody calls me…calls me by my..name." Kurapika ended softly.

"But I will, Kurapi." Kuroro looked at the blonde lovingly. "Do not worry, I will keep you safe."

Kurapika finally let his tears fall.

"Thank…" He sniffled. "Thank you. Thank you, Kuro"

The two shared a warm smile.

"Okay then…" Killua drawled.

Everyone snapped their heads up to look at him.

"It's clear the damsel – Kurapi – is staying with _him,"_ Killua jerked his thumb irritably at Kuroro. "But what about you guys?" He nodded towards the reindeers.

"We're staying." They all said at once. Then, realizing they weren't supposed to be talking, said, "Neigh."

"That's a _horse,_ seriously." Killua slapped his forehead with a groan. "But fine, jeez, whatever. I don't need you stupid reindeers, but how will I get the presents sent, and HOW WILL I GET MY COOKIES?!"

"By magic, of course."

Everyone whirled around at the new voice.

"…Who are you?" Killua stared at the man.

He had red hair, and he was wearing a green suit with a green bowler hat. He was twirling red Heart cards. He seemed like a mix of a jester and a magician.

"I am Secret, the Magician." Hisoka announced with a sly smile.

"Your name is 'Secret'?" Gon asked, bewildered.

"Like in, Victoria's Secret, Secret?" Leorio looked dumbfounded.

Killua kicked the perverted reindeer.

"OW!"

"Shh~" Hisoka hushed them, and they all quieted down, staring intently at them. "Good. Now I will do a simple magic." He twiddled his cards, and sprung them into the air, where they vanished. He turned to smirk at Killua. "Now, Santa. I believe your presents have been delivered."

"What?!" Killua exclaimed in disbelief. "Noel, check if he's right!"

"Yes, Mr. Claus!" With excitement, Gon whipped out something like a blue cross necklace, and peered into it. He gasped. "He's-he's right, sir!" The necklace must have shown that the presents in Santa's Workshop had all been delivered to children. "The presents have been sent!"

Everyone turned to look at Hisoka in awe and confusion.

But their shocked faces deepened when, with a swish of a Hisoka's hand, a load of cookies appeared on the table.

Kuroro fidgeted at the sight of cookies, making Kurapika shoot him a weird look.

"It's fine." He murmured to Kurapika – though more to himself. "Kurapi is all the warmth I need. No more cookies."

Hisoka nodded at the said-Cookie Monster, before turning to Killua.

"Cookies from your admirers." The secretive magician winked.

"What… How'd you do that?" Killua croaked.

"By magic." Hisoka simply said. "Now, I was actually wishing to be employed-"

"You're hired." Killua cut him off as he helped himself to a cookie.

"Oh." Hisoka blinked, and then laughed. "Splendid!" He glanced at Illumi the Tree. "And what a splendid tree!" Without warning, he suddenly plucked the tree from the ground, and carried it in his arms.

Or to say it more simply, Hisoka picked Illumi up, right off the ground.

"Er, you're going to take that?" Gon blinked.

"Sure! Why not?" Hisoka glanced at Kuroro, who shrugged as if he didn't care what happened to his Christmas tree. "It's a wonderful tree, isn't it?"

"Sure…" Killua drawled. "Okay. Fine. Whatever. Take it away, to my Workshop." He was quite content with all those cookies he ate.

"Well then, we'll be leaving, won't we?" Hisoka smiled pleasantly.

"Wait!" Leorio cried. "I'm not taking all _four_ of you! Even _two's_ more than enough!"

"How weak." Illumi, the supposed-to-be tree, blankly stated out.

Everyone stared at the said-Tree.

Killua coughed.

"Did I just hear a tree talk?" He said sarcastically.

Illumi stayed silent after that.

"You could take the sleigh." Kuroro offered.

"As it _is_ mine." Killua snorted.

"And I can try magic the weight into making us considerably lighter." Hisoka added.

"Oh." Leorio breathed in relief. Then he blinked. "Er, I mean, neigh."

"_Horse."_ Killua snapped for the last time.

"Close enough!" Leorio rolled his eyes.

"Idiot." Killua mumbled.

"Brat."

"Shriveled old red nosed man."

"I AM _NOT!"_

Barely able to contain his laughter, Gon giggled,

"Come on then! I suppose we should be leaving, sir."

"Yeah." Killua replied as he and the other three slipped into the sleigh. "Guess we should. Off you go, reindeer!"

Leorio snorted, but exited the stage anyway.

Gon waved at Kuroro, Kurapika, and the Spiders.

"Well." Kuroro spoke. "I guess Christmas has come to an end." But looking down, he saw that Kurapika was asleep. He smiled. "Get all the rest you can, Kurapi. We will be getting busy with the Wedding Preparations soon…" With that said, Kuroro, too, left the stage – Kurapika still in his arms.

The Spiders glanced at each other before shrugging, and following after their leader.

The curtains fell as the play ended, and the crowd cheered.

**xXx**

"Where did you come up with the idea, anyway, ne, Hisoka?" Gon asked Hisoka, once their Christmas Play was over.

Hisoka gave him one of his infamous sly smiles.

"Shh~" He chuckled. "It's a secret, Apple-chan."

Gon was left to stare after him.

**A/N:**

**Yeah. Sorry. I know. Real crappy. Got all screwed up somewhere in the middle. *grimace* Well, I tried, I tried…**

**On the happier note, Merry Christmas! *beams* A review would be nice as my present, but I don't expect any, seriously. *sigh***

**TSM, OUT!**


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